shadowdreamer | *despite everything (Reply)

Warnings: Semi-graphic description of injuries, intrusive thoughts.

*despite everything

.
.
.
*...it's still you.

Frisk's hand laid against the mirror, as they met the hollow gaze of their reflection. According to their phone, it had only been a few days since they'd looked at themself in the mirror in Toriel's home, cheery eyed and optimistic. But their body knew. Their body bore the wounds that LOADING couldn't erase, the ones that hadn't been enough to kill them. The ones they'd kept, because the thought of doing it all over again, and again, until they didn't get hurt at all-

They couldn't.

They wouldn't.

And now, after what everyone else thought had only been days, they stared themself in the mirror, taking in the damage left behind.

It- wasn't nice. A dark bruise left one eye swollen shut, but the spiderwebs gluing down their hair half hid the bruise.

*you wonder if the king will hesitate if he sees the bruise.
*you wonder when you started thinking that way.

The shoulder of their shirt was scorched away, the burn beneath oozing unpleasantly from popped blisters. Distantly, Frisk thought they should take the time to patch it up- but what was the point? Their effort would be undone when they next LOADED again, anyway. The stab wound, where Undyne's spear had gone through them, had possibly been a different story, sure- but, it was fine, now. They'd bummed some bandages off of Alphys, it would hold. Long enough to face the king, anyway, and after that-

...It didn't matter. It didn't matter, because after that, it would be over, and they could let someone else make the big decisions for a while.

*it wouldn't be such a problem if you just killed them first.

The reflection in the mirror blurred, and Frisk shook their head, wiping ruthlessly at eyes that momentarily flashed red. They wouldn't- they wouldn't. That was wrong. It was wrong.

*you're going to have to kill him anyway.
*alphys said so.
*isn't it kinder to make it quick?

Frisk's stomach turned as they watched their reflection tilt it's head, a hand coming up to run fingertips over busted lips. They winced, taking a deep breath, and shook their head, pushing the thought back. They'd- they'd find a way. They didn't want to kill anyone. They couldn't.